SPSS for Hallowe'en (pace Dante)

[John F Hall]

Here’s a bit of serious Hallowe’en (learning) fun from Andy Field’s personal website.  It’s all free, and it relates to his superb “Discovering Statistics” books for SPSS, R and SAS.  The blurbs will give you a good idea of what to expect.

Enjoy!

 

John F Hall (Mr)

 

Email:     [hidden email]

Website: www.surveyresearch.weebly.com

 

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Welcome http://www.statisticshell.com/html/apf.html

 

"You hate statistics, you despise maths, you stain your pants at the mention of
sphericity. Normal people love these things, but you, barrel of number-fearing
sputum that you are, are terrified. Afraid for your worthless life you leapt
pathetically to the internet for guidance. A freak spark of lightening hit your
house sending a bolt of electricity through your computer. Sparks flew like
tendrils from the screen, fusing with your face and sucking your head and body
into the number vortex that is statistics hell. Your crime is evacuating your
bowels at the mention of a t-test, your punishment is eternity in
statistics hell. I am the gatekeeper, the evil ruler of this world of numbers.
Although you might confuse me for a human full of empathy and compassion for
those taking their first wobbly steps through this horrific world of equations,
underneath my skin I am numbers without a soul."

 

Books http://www.statisticshell.com/html/bookall.html

 

“Unlike Anton LaVey, I have not written The Satanic Bible or The Devil's Notebook but my literary contributions are, arguably, even more evil. After all, LaVey never wrote about hierarchical linear models and it doesn't get much more evil than that. Here you'll find a list of all of the books I've written (or contributed large amount to) and some details about them.”

 

Resources http://www.statisticshell.com/html/cocytus.html

 

“Ah, so you wish to jump straight to the very core of statistics hell, the circle rampaged by traitors to their kindred, their country and their lords. Well, you'd better be wearing dark underpants or invest now in some strong washing powder. In this layer of hell, find a list of statistical tests and links to the circle of statistics hell where you can find resources on these topics. Once within these circles you must travel your own path to enlightenment. Beelzebub is coming, and he's not looking happy ... “

 

Introductory Statistics http://www.statisticshell.com/html/limbo.html

 

“Welcome to Limbo, where the lustful, gluttonous and wrathful wander in endless torment. Here you can uncover the searing agony of SPSS, the stomach churning fear of central tendency and the rancid bile of z-scores. Good luck, you'll need it.”

 

Intermediate http://www.statisticshell.com/html/woodofsuicides.html

 

“Welcome to the wood of suicides (is anyone getting all these Dante references or am I just wasting my time here?), where self flagellation is the name of the game. You will experience the bowel-evacuating effect of multiple regression, the bone-splintering power of ANOVA and the nose-hair pulling torment of factor analysis. Can you cope: I think not, mortal filth. Be warned, your brain will be placed in a jar of cerebral fluid and I will toy with it at my leisure.”

 

Advanced http://www.statisticshell.com/html/malbowges.html

 

“Welcome to Malbowges, the part of Nether Hell dominated by thieves, counsellors of Fraud (or should that just be counsellors), falsifiers and sowers of discord. It's not a nice place for Sunday lunch. You must wade through rivers of Lucifer's sputum to reach the answers you seek, and when you find those answers, you'll probably wish you hadn't bothered. Revenge is mine, ah ha ha, yah ha ha, ya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...”

 

Andy also has a series of SPSS video tutorials:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b163iBByycw&feature=related