Modified from:
http://word.mvps.org/findhelp/posting.htm<Edited 09/12/2012>
Original in regular font my mods in italic and bold.
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1. The first thing to remember is that nobody is paid to answer questions in the forums.
Despite the FUBAR economy most have a day job doing something else. Those who answer do so because they enjoy it
or are incorrigible masochists. If you respect that, and try to make it easy and enjoyable
or painful for people to answer you, then all the other tips here will seem obvious.
<SNIP> Please make sure you mention which version of SPSS you are using when you put a question (it's often impossible to answer your question if you don't). It also helps if you mention which operating system you are using.
OTOH: My solutions work for all versions.Please do not send people direct emails unless they ask for them: it's very rude. And you probably won't get an answer: With
??-million users of SPSS out there, no-one would live long enough to answer all the emails that would result if each SPSS user sent them just one email in their whole lifetime.
In fact I would reply with a 5M file of my cat in drag to every one of them.
2. Please do not send attachments unless we request them. We normally do not need an attachment to answer your question:
a reasonably concise thorough well thought out description is sufficient.
<SNIP>3. Check to see which forum is most relevant to your problem. Read the questions and answers, and see if they are on a topic similar to your question. It may even be that your question has already been asked and answered recently! If you have made an honest effort to find an appropriate forum, people will do their best to answer you, even if the question is at the edge of the main subject area of the forum.
Well, the only other forum other than the IBM/SPSS forums is the SPAM raped google forum (good luck with that.4 omitted...(just stuff about not posting to GT 1 forum).
5. Say which version of SPSS
god forbid PASW snicker... you are using. .. <SNIP> see 1.
EXCEPT "we can't see your screen from here..." and eSPSS and InterNeTelepathy are in short supply
6. Describe your problem as fully
(and concisely -THAT IS NOT PARADOXICAL-) as possible, including where appropriate what you have tried so far when attempting to fix it. This is NOT the place to try to be brief: that's for Twitter, and this is not Twitter! Where possible, use the terms used within SPSS itself to describe what is happening. Describe what you are trying to achieve overall. Sometimes people concentrate so hard on a particular way of solving the problem, that they don't notice that they are using a hammer to drive screws into the wall!
In other words: Please take at least as much time formulating and posting as you expect others to take to resolve your issue. My personal limit on time commitment is about 3-5 minutes!! If it is going to take me longer then it will take you hours and you should pay me my 70 per hour rate for my consulting time. .
7. Make the message subject heading descriptive of the question. Saying “SPSS problem” or “Help!!!” isn't going to catch the eye of somebody who might know the answer. “
Can't install RCI device in ether orifice” or “
Error message when running GLM with 500 variables” is much more informative and useful.
In fact I purposely ignore these types of questions even if I know the answer.
8. Use your real name, or at least something that looks like a real name. It makes us feel a little stupid to start a reply by saying "Hi MadDog". The forums will automatically anonymise your email: we cannot respond to you by email because we do not have your email address
(Sure we do.. Are you paranoid yet?).
Unless your name is Black Rock City Hottie then see 8. 9. If nobody answers your question, it is probably because nobody knows the answer.
Of course we do. we are just sadists and holding out on you because the question is hazier than the brown acid at Woodstock . 9b. There is no guarantee that anyone will know the answer, though most questions do get answered. There is also no guarantee regarding response times – an answer will appear when somebody who knows the answer chances to read the question. Putting “URGENT” into a message header will make no difference as to when that will happen.
Putting URGENT in the header is a great way to be completely ignored!
10. If your English is not very good, don't worry – nobody is going to laugh at you
(but you will not get an answer in yout mother tongue so you had best be able to read English or use Babblefish) . Do your best to explain your problem in English, but also include your question in your native language: chances are one of us can read it. If we have trouble understanding something, we will ask you to explain again
(or maybe not).10a. On the other hand, if English is your mother tongue, please try to remember to run the spellchecker before posting – and especially, try to ensure there are no errors in your subject line. In a long thread, especially, these can become irritating for other people.
ABOVE ALL DON'T SPEAK IN FREAKING IM!!! and don't use all CAPS it is considered *SHOUTING* and is really freaking annoying!!!!!!!11. If you have a follow-up question, or a contribution to make to an answer post it back to the forum! Many people may be interested in the additional information. Also, if the person answering your question is not entirely sure about the answer, post back saying whether it worked or not. That helps for when the question comes up again. Forums work well because everybody can see all the information.
<SNIP MVP /M$ pay to play spiel>
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AND!!!!
DMM1. Don't hijack previous threads with an OT/different topic. There is a NEW THREAD option and replying to a "how do I mutilate my data using the SPSS ginzu option" with a "My table isn't coming out right" or "Python sucks/Macros rule" is bound to bury your question in the bowels of something completely irrelevant to your cause and the right people won't see it. Personally I use Nabble to view this group and Changed subject lines end up threaded under the original topic.
DMM2. Don't expect people to do your thinking and your job for you. If you have been struggling to solve a problem for days or weeks maybe you should hire a competent consultant or find training. Ultimately it may save you money and a lot of hair. SPSS is a complex program. Don't expect t learn it in 2 days (or even 2 years). I have used it for 30 years and still look at the manual occasionally.
DMM3. RTFM (read the fine manual). Not literally "read", but BROWSE it for X's sake to get the lay of the land.
DMM4. Browse the archives to see if anything remotely similar has been asked in say the past 20 years?
OOPS the archives have been truncated to 1996 so 16 years.------
ADDED 9/12: After the fact.
DMM5. If you are attempting to perform some sort of unnatural act with strange data please provide some sort of reasonable representation of the existing structure of the data and an example of what you wish to achieve as a result of the data transformation. Rather than attempting to describe the data in human language provide an actual snippet or mock up of the relevant fields and their role in the problem.
DMM6. If in the rare event you should receive a cryptic error message or warning from the Oracle of Cthulhu
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu_Mythos disguised as coming from your SPSS session PLEASE provide the exact error message or warning so you at least will have some hope of receiving a reply.
DMM7. If you are attempting to have people here do your homework you would be advised to disguise that fact and not quote the homework question verbatim. Opacity in such matters is critical.
eg Obvious homework question(s):
1. If a variable is distributed normally with mean 0 and SD 1. What is the probability that the mean of 10 numbers drawn from this distribution exceeds 1.9645 .
2. What is the probability the mean of sample size 20 lies between -2 and 1.98.
PLONK!!!
(opacity added)
I am new to this list and was wondering how one computed probabilities for a normal distribution in SPSS.
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